Seems Legit.

This one’s for the people who gave up asking what the f#ck around 7:58 a.m.

By 8:00, you’re pushing a flaming goat and a unicorn in a trolley through a burning suburb and calling it “Tuesday.” You’re not surprised. You’re not even mad. You’re just hoping your coffee’s still warm in the car.

This shirt isn’t about fixing the chaos — it’s about riding it straight into the fire with a thumbs up and dead eyes.

Zero Alpha – Thriving in the weird.

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Built simple. Worn hard. This 100% cotton staple tee doesn’t try too hard—and it doesn’t have to. Soft, durable, and ready to throw under a jacket or wear solo when the job’s done but the attitude isn’t. 100% combed cotton. Pre-shrunk for extra durability.

Important: This product is available in Australia and New Zealand only. If your shipping address is outside these regions, please choose a different product.

🚨 Terms of Engagement 🚨

We don’t sit on shelves.📦 This gear is printed the moment you pull the trigger. That means it takes a little longer to land—but it also means no waste, no dead stock, and no compromises.

⛔️ Once the order hits the system, it’s locked and loaded. No edits, no swaps. We move fast. You should too. Zero bulk. Zero excess. Just purpose-built gear, printed for the ones who get it. Thanks for backing what matters.

🔥 No Exchanges or Refunds. All our gear is made to order—no warehouse, no shelf stock, no second chances on sizing mistakes. If you order the wrong size, that one’s on you. Check the size guide. Measure twice. Rage never.

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🩸 Damaged or Misprinted Gear. We don’t tolerate failure in the field. If your item rocks up damaged or defective, send us pics within 30 days and we’ll sort it—refund or reprint, no drama. We back our gear. If it’s on us, we’ll make it right.

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⚙️ Fulfilment Time. Every order is printed just for you. Most gear is fulfilled right here in Australia, but if local stock runs low, we may source from international partners.    No fast fashion. No corner-cutting. And definitely no cheap knockoffs.

📦 Standard fulfilment time is 5–7 days before shipping—because good things aren’t churned out. They’re forged. 🤙🏻

Size guide